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I’ve found that most of us when we get dogs home, we do a couple of things to set the tone right from Day 1. This mostly involves setting down rules and boundaries - what is the dog allowed to do or not to do?
And a lot of these rules are shaped by certain conscious or unconscious ideas and beliefs like -
"Giving the dog too much freedom will mean that the dog will be “spoilt”"
"Not having clear boundaries or rules means that the dog will have "free rein"
"Always letting the dog know who’s “in charge” so that the dog doesn’t take us for a ride or have the opportunity to dominate us"
Or even something as plain as - "not having a misbehaved dog"
I have been there and so have all the lovely dog parents I have worked with. And while each of us has been on and continues to be on a journey of shedding some of these beliefs and learning new ways of being with our dogs, I have been curious to explore questions like -
“Where do these beliefs really come from?”
“What’s the source of this thinking?”
“What makes these beliefs, conscious or unconscious, so woven into the fabric of living with dogs?”
The answer that I found didn’t come to me by just sitting and thinking about it. It came with doing what I call The Work 😟
What is The Work?
The Work is a dismantling of your ideas, values, beliefs, philosophies, relationships that shape your thoughts, actions and words.
It’s an emotional upheaval, where you commit to a journey of significant, profound and sometimes, painful, unlearning.
It’s where you become aware of forgotten parts of yourself, reconnect and reclaim them.
It’s where you give yourself the space and grace to bloom and learn new ways of relating to yourself and your dogs.
As scary as The Work sounds, it’s important. Because the answer that I found was actually a question -
Is our relationship with dogs inextricably colonised and shaped by toxic corporate capitalism?
Colonialism & Toxic Corporate Capitalism 101
Colonialism and toxic corporate capitalism are systemic diseases. They have permeated into every fabric of being and doing, including our relationship with our dogs and undoubtedly, ourselves.
Images sourced from Google
Think about how these systems operate and see if you can draw any parallels to the way we generally tend to relate to dogs (I have added a few below to get you started):
Colonialism | Toxic Corporate Capitalism |
Reliance on hierarchies that dehumanize those who are colonised and justifies their subjugation Replacement of indigenous practices, ideologies and rituals with transactional, only profit oriented practices Propagating cultural erasure - where colonizers suppress and erase the language, culture, identity of those who were colonised; those colonised were left with no choice but forced assimilation and acceptance of the coloniser\s values, language and customs, removing choice and free will Assertion of imperial control - where practices and rules and policies are implemented that favour the colonisers, neglecting the needs of those who are colonised | Profit over people - maximising profits at the expense of the needs of people Driving consumerism and manipulation - using aggressive and manipulative marketing to create a false sense of needs, desires and wants in people An obsession with short term focus and quick fixes over long term, enduring shifts A lack of transparency and accountability by large corporations who get away with unethical practices |
So, what are some of the parallels to how we relate to dogs?
Think of the mindsets and actions of control, dominance, the human constructs of “good” and “bad” behaviour that we impose on our dogs;
Or how little time we spend learning about their language and how hard we work to make sure that they learn ours;
Or how little we actually know about them and how much effort we put into teaching them everything about how we want them to live with us;
Or how dog nutrition and behaviour narratives across the world do not include the lives of street dogs because they are seen as “matter out of place“,
Or how the pet industry is so unregulated and its constant growing monetary evaluations means that every Tom, Dick and Harry can sell something to dog parents with little or no knowledge of dogs and what they need,
Or how most dog training is built on quick fixes, corrections and on getting the dog to behave in ways we find convenient and easy, often at the expense of the dog's needs;
Or the booming breeding industry that continues to exploit thousands of dogs for the sake of profit.
There are SO MANY MORE examples of how these systems influence and shape how we relate to dogs - they make my heart head and soul hurt 💔
Both systems rely on exploitation, inequality, control and oppression and cultural hegemony (the dominance of one group over another). And replace:
Connection with correction, conformity and coercion
Love & respect for nature with development at the expense of the natural world and destruction
Collaboration and partnerships with competition where there is only one winner
Community and relationships with hyper independence
Guidance, support and uplifting others with subjugation and an assertion of power
Emotions, sentience and feelings (that are ridiculed and looked down upon by other toxic structures) with an obsession for rational and logical thinking as the only form of intelligence
Loving and respectful relationships with transactional relationships
Phew 😰
A Reimagination
The Work calls us to wake up from a deeply conditioned amnesia and reconnect with our loving, connection-seeking, creative, imaginative spirits. It’s an opportunity to liberate ourself and our dogs. From colonialist and toxic corporate capitalism roots, histories and structures.
Now, am I offering to show you how to do The Work? Well, yes and no.
The truth is there isn’t one way to do The Work. Everyone is called differently to do this and will find ways that align with them to spend time unpacking and unlearning. And that’s not necessarily my area of expertise.
But what I’m really good at is sharing the seeds of The Work with you for your relationship with your dogs. I’ll be doing this through my new offering called Safe Space - a monthly membership for dog parents across the world who are called to decolonise their relationship with their dogs.
You can find more about it here: https://stan.store/luchiandmuttons/p/safe-space-membership
And if you are an existing client, you get a massive discount on the membership. So if this sounds like something you might be interested in, drop me an email and I will share the link with you.
But in the meantime, let me know how these themes are landing for you in the comments below or hit reply to surabhi@luchiandmuttons.com to share moreb private thoughts!
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